Feedback 101
What is feedback
Feedback is a gift, a mechanism by which people learn, develop and grow. Let’s define feedback as communication that is aimed at supporting or challenging someone to develop and grow.
Giving feedback
Here are 3 things for you to consider before giving feedback:
Know when to give it. Has the other person or team expressed that they are open for feedback? If not, ask. The potential benefit of your feedback will likely be ignored if the other person is not in capacity to receive it. If they communicate that they are not looking to get feedback at that moment then you need to respect that boundary. If they have announced that feedback will be received at a specific moment just wait for that moment; if the moment has already passed then accept it and find other ways for the work to improve in the future, for example get more involved.
What is your intention? Before providing feedback take the time to reflect on why you feel the need to give it. A good exercise is to make, what some people call, a moral compass. Select 3 or 4 values that really resonate with you, values that would shape the actions of the type of person you want to be in an ideal situation. Before giving any feedback, ask yourself if it is coming from a desire to support the person receiving it, and if the action of giving that specific feedback at that specific moment aligns with your moral compass. If you have a hard time justifying giving the feedback based on your moral compass then that's your cue not to give it.
Keep it short and sweet. Good communication is key. You may check the previous points but if your feedback is messy and hard to comprehend then the potential of improving based on your feedback is very low. Here are some recommendations:
Show empathy. Start by sharing a couple of sentences (don't overdo it) that show how much you appreciate the work that has been done. Be honest. This really goes a long way as it helps prevent getting in defensive mode.
Share an observation. Describe without judging, blaming or shaming, how you perceive the situation. Make ‘I’ sentences and avoid assuming.
Avoid giving unsolicited advice. You may have given some thought to the issue at hand and have some ideas of how to improve. If that is the case, ask if they are interested in knowing your ideas and share them only if they agree. Remember, giving feedback is not the same as giving advice. You can communicate your observations, that is giving feedback, and that information is enough to help the other person improve. Another thing is making suggestions on how to do things. Make sure you get their consent before sharing potential solutions.
Receiving feedback
You are starting a project and are wondering about the best way to get feedback? Here are 3 thing to consider:
Timing is key. There is nothing more annoying than getting your work interrupted by unsolicited feedback. A good way to prevent this is setting times for feedback. Identify when, in the planning and/or execution of your project, would that feedback be most needed and communicate it to those you are seeking feedback from.
Feedback is not the same as inclusion. Asking for feedback is often confused with inclusion. If a group of people will be directly impacted by your project they should be actively included in your decision making process. This should not be limited as just asking for feedback -unless they decide to participate only in that way-. This lack of inclusivity is often the reason why conflict arises and it usually gets confused with a feedback problem.
Format. Consider what is the best way for you to receive that feedback and what is best, for the people that will be offering it, to communicate that feedback. For example you may prefer to create a form that people can submit, people offering feedback may prefer sending you an email or for you to host a feedback meeting. Identify that intersection and define it in advance. Otherwise it can turn into a very messy process. My suggestion is to give preference to face to face conversations. Text can be easily misinterpreted.
This guide is not a one-size-fits-all solution. In order for healthy feedback to become the norm, people need to do uncomfortable work. This includes but is not limited to improving their introspective skills, learning better ways to communicate, identify triggers, set and respect boundaries.